Richtofen's Grand Scheme/Transcript
Simon Says Takeo: "This looks like some kind of code." Computer: "Main system offline. Please perform system integrity check." Takeo: "Uh, I am tired of these unrewarding games!" Dempsey: "Ah great, more crap to do." Richtofen: "Damn it I hate doing this. Where is Groph when you need him?" Nikolai: "I think those lights are gonna make me puke... *puking sounds*" Beginning the step Computer: "System check failed. Main system offline." Takeo: "Dempsey! Stop distracting me!" Richtofen:"Stupid Dempsey, now we must try again!" Dempsey: "Well fuck you too!" Nikolai: "Screw you machine! YOU didn't do it right!" After completing the step Computer: "Integrity check complete. Main systems online. Performing internal routine check." Richtofen: "Ah good, you guys didn't screw it up!" Takeo: "I have defeated your dishonor!" Nikolai: "Wait, we did it?" Dempsey: "Huh, that was pretty easy after all." Hacking the Lab terminals Computer: "Security system activated. Access denied." Nikolai: "Oh goodie, a new thingy to figure out!" Richtofen: "How can you not recognize me? It's me!" Takeo: "You dishonor me with your rules!" Dempsey: "I don't want to press your buttons anyway." After approaching buttons Computer: "System files accessed." Dempsey: "Woah, what's happening?!" Nikolai: "Maybe it will dispense vodka now!" Richtofen: "My mad hacker skills are only eclisped by my mad scientist skills." Takeo: "I will solve your riddle!" Dempsey: "Got it- I think..." Richtofen: "Control, alt, ALT!" Nikolai: "I really...have no idea what we are doing...as usual." Takeo: "The task is complete!" Dempsey: "Yeah, that did it!" Nikolai: "Hey guys, I diddled the nob-thingy!" Richtofen: "This was too easy! Who was my IT guy again?" Takeo: "DONE!" When hacking the panels Computer: "Security systems breached. Reinitalizing: system reboot initiated. Reboot in T-minus 60 seconds...50 seconds...40 seconds...30 seconds...20 seconds...10 seconds...5, 4, 3, 2- reboot complete. Security systems online." Takeo: "Your base belongs to us!" Richtofen: "Excellent, although we could have just entered the master password, oh well. Shut up!" Nikolai: '''"Too much blinky blinky, not enough drinky drinky." '''Dempsey: "Right, are we done yet?" Moving the Vril Sphere When near the sphere Dempsey: "Hey, check it out. there's a black egg. Wonder what it does." Takeo: '''"An egg. Of the devil!" '''Richtofen: "Oh, wunderbar. I was wondering where that artifact went. Perfect timing!" Nikolai: "There is rotten egg on moon? I thought it was made out of cheese!" When moving the egg Dempsey: "Take that, egg!" Richtofen: "Ugh, why can't we just pick this up?!" Takeo: "I move the egg like the wind...and I do not wish to break either." Nikolai: "Hey, that egg keeps moving when I hit it!" Dempsey: "Hey, haha, this is pretty fun!" Richtofen: "Oh, look at it move- so shiny!" Takeo: "It moves with the force of my wombat!" Nikolai: "Hey hey, this is working!" Dempsey: "A little like golf. Only without a club and no golf ball. Other than that, it's exactly the same." Richtofen: "Why don't we have servants for this?" Takeo: "I could say a haiku here, but you would not get it." Nikolai: "Do not hit it too hard- a black egg does not smell so good." Dempsey: "This is a little...gamey, don't you think?" Richtofen: "I knew I should have invented an egg moving robot. Stupid Maxis, and his rules, and stupid accent!" Takeo: "I have not had this much fun since yesterday!" Nikolai: "Hm...maybe we can make red eyes all around! Mmm, red eye! I like red eyes without the beer and egg, too." After the egg is stuck on the door Dempsey: "Well, we can't move this thing any further 'til that little door is open...anyone else getting pissed off about the hoops we're jumping through, or is it just me?" Takeo: "No further for now, but soon egg, I will have my revenge!" Richtofen: "Oh I forgot about that little door...vexes me. SHUT UP!" Nikolai: "I think the egg is stuck here, let's have a drink!" Moving the sphere Dempsey: "I don't know what that does, but okay." Richtofen: "Now to realign the antikythera mechanism. Just kidding! But it is pretty cool, look it up, I made it! Mystery Solved!" Takeo: "For HONOR!" Nikolai: "Oh no, the egg is in hole! Oh wait, that is good thing right?" Powering up the single tube Nikolai: "Oh no! The egg is in the hole! Wait... that is good thing, right?" Dempsey: "Holy shitballs! Did you see that flash? It's powering the machine!" Takeo: "Your life force is now put to good use, in the machine." Richtofen: "Of course! The machine is powered by life force. How silly of me! I should have remembered that." Filling the tube Nikolai: "It is filling up!" Takeo: "Keep going!" Dempsey: "Keep it up it's gaining power!" Richtofen: "We must kill more!" All tubes are filled Nikolai: "It is overflowing with energy. This is good thing, right?" T'akeo': "The machine is vile, with the dishonor, of the dishonorable!" Dempsey: "It's full. Now what?" Richtofen: "Excellent! Marvelous! Beautiful! Look for a button or a switch!" The M.P.D. opens Richtofen: "Hello Samantha, you little brat. Your time is coming, soon. (Laughs) SO SOON!" Dempsey: "So you're the little bitch who keeps moving that box on me...I promised I'd ground you when I caught you, just wait 'til I get you out of that tomb!" Takeo: "Big trouble comes in small packages, Tank..." Nikolai: "What, does that mean she is suspended in vodka?! Little bitch, you cause so much headache!" Richtofen: "Child, soon I will deal with you for good- but there is one more thing I must do! Ahahaha!" Finding the plates After knocking down the first plate Nikolai: "Hey guys, I did something!" Dempsey: "Check it out, it dislodged a plate." Richtofen: "It's a little small, but it will do...but if I had another..." Takeo: "Maybe we can use that metal plate for something." After knocking down the second plate Dempsey: "Knocked that plate right off!" Nikolai: "Look, a piece of junk. Maybe it's useful...maybe not...I don't know." Takeo: "Hm, a plate is dislodged." Richtofen: "Oh, excellent, the other plate I was looking for!" After teleporting the plates to Griffin Station Dempsey: '''"Perfect!" '''Nikolai: "That worked!" Takeo: "The plate has been moved..." Richtofen: "Of course ''that worked!" Building the computer ''Bringing the plates to Griffin Station Dempsey: "Finally I got to shoot at something during one of these 'side-quests'!" Nikolai: "I shoot and it moves!" Takeo: "It moves, but where does it go?" Richtofen: "Now where did I put the Casimir holder?" Dempsey: "Woohoo, got it!" Nikolai: "Oh no! The plates are stuck in that....thingy!" Richtofen: "Ah yes...perfect." Takeo: "The plate is secured." When using the QED on the plates Nikolai: "That did something." Dempsey: "That was easy...what are we making again?" Takeo: "It is locked in place." Richtofen: "This will do nicely...now to connect it to the computer system!" After finding the Casimir holder Dempsey: "Uh...not sure but I don't think we're ready for this yet." Takeo: "We are not yet ready for this!" Nikolai: "Buttons, playing with buttons! Hehe...no, does not do anything." Richtofen: "We need to connect the Casimir Mechanism to the computer system." After finding the wire Dempsey: "A wire...I can strangle those freak-nuggets with this! Can I? No? Damn." Nikolai: "A piece of wire, good for connectng electronic things, no?" Takeo: "A wire of honor for the warrior!" Richtofen: "Perfect! This might be useful!" When the plates are connected to the Casimir holder Nikolai: "It seems connected now. Takeo: "Lucky thing we found this wire laying around." Dempsey: "Awesome...whatever." Richtofen: "Almost there....ALMOST!" Richtofen at the computer Dempsey: "I don't know how to use this, ask Richtofen...I think he built this place." Takeo: "This is not warrior's work!" Nikolai: "Yeah, last time I pressed buttons I got headache, remember? No more pressing for Nikolai!" Richtofen: "Excellent! This is all going according to plan!" Turning the Computer on Richtofen: "The Casimir effect only occurs when there is a vacuum." Inserting the Vril Generator Richtofen: "Login: Teddy. Password: is a liar. I'm not, but that's why no one would guess it! Ah..." Computer: "Access granted. Greetings Edward, would you like to play a game?" Richtofen: "What is Groph's obsession with American women? All they do is play games! No matter… Time to charge up the Casimir Mechanism... carry the one..." Richtofen starts typing on keyboard Computer: "Access granted. Switching relay to sector 1-1-5 --" Computer screen turns red Dr. Maxis: (interrupts'')'' "ACCESS DENIED, Richtofen..." Richtofen: "What is happening? Scanning for hack source."'' (Continues typing.)'' Dr. Maxis: "You fool! I should never have trusted you!" Richtofen: "Maxis… How on earth did you get into the machine!? No matter." (Continues typing) Dr. Maxis: "I know what you are up to and I will not allow you to succeed!" Richtofen: "You should never have kept the DG-2 from production, you should have never have tried to steal the plans for the MDT!" Dr. Maxis: "Stop the madness Edward; we were supposed to help the human condition, not destroy it." Richtofen: "Indeed, and now you are dead (said in mocking tone). And your little girl is going to be next... ahh... She is the source of madness! Ahh... Not I." Dr. Maxis: "She is just a little girl Edward! She doesn't even know what she is doing!" Richtofen: "Und, (And) delete. Goodbye, Dr. Maxis." Screen turns red Computer: "Security override active." Dempsey: "No way! I'm not touching that thing with a 10-foot M16!" Nikolai: "No. Way. I do not want any part of that." Takeo: "I refuse. I will not become tarnished!" Richtofen: ''"It's mine! Finally it's mine!" ''Richtofen grabs the charged Vril Generator. Powering up the 4 tubes. Richtofen: "This is going to be so much fun! Finally we can confront this little beast. Quickly! Power up the machine!" Approaching the tubes Samantha: "You will never succeed in this, Edward!" Samantha: "The blackness will swallow your pride! Something far more terrible than you lies here!" Samantha: "I'll destroy you for what you've done to daddy!" Samantha: "Edward! You will tremble in fear! I'll slice you apart and expose your rotten innards so you will be judged for what you have become!" Samantha: "You did this! I'll have no mercy on you for your arrogance!" Samantha: "I'll destroy all those who help you!" Samantha: "The earth's destruction will lie in your hands, Edward! Your fault!" After filling all four tubes Takeo: "It is full!" Dempsey: "Looks like the tanks are full!" Nikolai: "There's enough power now!" Richtofen: "Finally, the moment is at hand!" When all tanks are full Dempsey: "No friggin' way!" Nikolai: "I am not drunk enough to mess with that!" Takeo: "Agreed; I will not be involved with this dishonor!" Richtofen: "Ja! Time to die child! AHAHAHAHA!" Samantha: "(gasps) Oh no!" When Richtofen approaches MPD Interface Swapping Souls Samantha: "Daddy, make him stop!" Dempsey: "Okay, THIS is weird!" Nikolai: "So THAT'S what he wanted to do...I probably should've seen that coming." Takeo: "I will destroy you yet, Edward!" Richtofen: "I WIN! The power, THE POWER! I can control them all! I CAN DESTROY YOU ALL... but not before we continue the game." Maxis: "Greetings. If you are receiving this message, it means that Richtofen has entered the device; If you free me, I will help minimize the damage that he will inevitably cause." After inserting the Vril Gererator Blowing Up the Earth Computer: "Security system override in progress. Please input proper authorization code." Nikolai: "Well that didn't work." Dempsey: "Crap! Now that just sucks." Samantha: "Oh no, I do not like this game!" Takeo: "Dempsey! Stop distracting me!" Computer: "Phase one complete. Redirecting security matrix." Dempsey: "Damn it, now I gotta do it all over again!" Samantha: "It was more fun when I'' was in charge! '''Nikolai': "Ahaha, nice Dempsey! Oh wait...we messed up." Takeo: "Bah! This is stupid!" Computer: "Security matrix override successful." Maxis: "Good, now that I am in control of the station, we have one last chance to sever Edward's link with Earth. I will calculate the position. Retrieve the artifact and take it to the launch platform." After finishing Simon Says for the third time Samantha: "This must be the artifact daddy was talking about!" Dempsey: "Hey, the egg came back out." Nikolai: "Oh no, not that egg again!" Takeo: '"Ugh, the egg of dishonor..." ''After the Vril Sphere comes out of the Vril interface 'Dempsey: '"Hey, it's moving again!" '''Samantha: "Hehehe, I like ''this game!" '''Nikolai': "I used to be very good at egg games in the motherland!" Takeo: "Bah, I do not like this egg...it gives me a very bad feeling. Dempsey: "Hope we're moving the right way." Takeo: "I am not sure this is a good idea..." Nikolai: "In that case...go egg go!" Samantha: "Yeah, go egg go!" Moving the Vril Sphere Dempsey: "Oh yeah, hole in one!" Nikolai: "What, did it go in hole or did it disappear?" Samantha: "We did it, daddy! YAY!" Takeo: "I have set you up the ball." Maxis: "I have finished the calculations. Launch protocol initiated. Launch in 5...4...3...2...1..." After removing the Vril Sphere Maxis: "30 seconds to impact." 3 missiles are launched from the Moon Dempsey: (while Maxis laughs) "Holy hell, I hope we didn't screw that up." Nikolai: (while Maxis laughs) "Uh, is it just me, or did we blow up Earth?" Samantha: "Ja...the Earth went BOOM." Takeo: (while Maxis laughs) "Ugh, I am doomed." 30 seconds later missiles hit the Earth, and Maxis laughs maniacally Maxis: "Well that was a much larger explosion then I anticipated! I have done all I can, I certainly hope those calculations were correct." Samantha: "Goodbye daddy, I love you and I miss you." Dempsey: "Wait... That's It? Seriously? All that work and all we did is blow up the Earth? What the fuck...?" Nikolai: "Hahaha, goodbye wife number nine! I do not think I will be able to top that one- she died when I blew up the Earth! Ahaha fun times...I will miss her." Takeo: "I promise to destroy every last remnant of 935! I will destroy them all!" Samantha: "But I want my body back! And I will destroy that evil Richtofen for taking daddy away!" After the Earth is destroyed Category:Call of Duty: Black Ops Transcript